Wednesday, 19 June 2013

Ring The Bell Against Child Marriage And Domestic Violence - For IndiChange!


Child marriage and child customs occur even today in rural and poor areas of India. An increase in the advocacy of human rights, whether as women's rights or as children's rights has caused traditions of child marriage to decrease in many areas. It is now a children human rights issue. Child marriage refers to any forced marriage of a child younger than 18 years old, in accordance to Article 1 of the Convention on the Right of the Child. While it affects both sexes, girls are disproportionately affected as they are the major victims. Their overall development is compromised, leaving them socially isolated with poor health, little education, skills and opportunities for employment and self-realization. Child brides are likely to become pregnant at an early age and there is a strong correlation between the age of a mother and maternal mortality. This also exposes women to vulnerability to HIV/AIDS. Tradition, religion and poverty continue to fuel the practice of child marriage involving pressure and emotional blackmail to children that lack the choice or capacity to give their full consent. Marrying at a young age has lifelong consequences. Taken together, the costs of this practice are too high to be ignored; societies cannot progress when even the common practice of marriage dooms girls and women to a life of poverty.

It is a huge responsibility for a young girl to become a wife and mother and because girls are not adequately prepared for these roles. This heavy burden has a serious impact on their psychological welfare, their perceptions of themselves and also their relationship. Women who marry early are more likely to suffer abuse and violence, with inevitable psychological as well as physical consequences. Violent behaviour can take the form of physical harm, psychological attacks, threatening behaviour and forced sexual acts including rape.

Though child marriage is entrenched in tradition and culture, change is possible. It is important to ring the bell against child marriage. The sooner, the better. 

1. I believe, the more education a girl receives, the less likely she is to be married as a child. Improving access to education and eliminating gender gaps in education are therefore important strategies for ending and condemning the practice of child marriage.
2. We should hold campaigns that will engage young people at advocacy level to stop and eradicate the evil of child marriage. 
3. We need to have local organizations to reduce the prevalence and lessen the harmful impacts of child marriage through educational and behavior-change programs.
4. Design effective programs that work with girls and boys, their families and communities to delay marriage.
5. If evidence of child marriage is found, the people held responsible for it should be heavily fined.
6. Collect evidence against people, creating social awareness about the negative effects of child marriage, collect data concerning child marriages, etc.
7. Improve local knowledge of the social and health consequences of child marriage and to encourage attitudes that favour marriage at a later age.
8. Strengthen support for alternatives to child marriage, especially efforts to keep girls in school.
9. Increase endorsements for delayed marriage by religious leaders and other community stakeholders.


1. Listen to women and believe them. When a women tells you about violence they have experienced in their lives - believe them. Often we don't want to believe that horrible things happen to people. It is extremely rare for a woman to make up a story about rape or abuse. You may be the first and only person she tells. Believe her and support her decisions, without being judgmental.
2. Heal the violence in your own life. Most of us are survivors of some type of violence. Almost everybody fears becoming a victim of violence. Take care of yourself and do what you can to help yourself heal - emotionally and physically. Get counselling. Join a support group. Most women's shelters offer some type of free counselling and support. Celebrate survival.
3. Break the silence. When you're ready, tell other people your own story of survival. Breaking the silence about our experiences reduces the shame that surrounds abuse and can empower other people to talk about their own experiences.
4. Make violence your business. Most of us grew up with the idea that we're not supposed to ask questions about other people's families or relationships - especially if there seems to be trouble. Keeping violence against women private helps no one. If you believe that someone is being abused - ask them. They might not tell you right away, but it will send a signal that you are someone they can trust. If you don't know how to handle the news that someone you know is being abused, call your local women's shelter or crisis line for advice.
5. Raise non-violent children. Talk to the children in your life about violence. Help them find non-violent ways of resolving conflict. Encourage imaginative, co-operative and non-violent play. Don't use violence as punishment.
6. Use your time, energy and money to promote women's equality. Women make up the vast majority of victims of relationship and sexual violence. Get involved in organizations working to end poverty and violence against women. Make donations. Start a group dedicated to ending violence against women. Vote for political parties with concrete plans and policies to increase women's equality.
7. Speak out against negative media images. The media often uses images of violence against women to sell products. If you see an ad or commercial that you find offensive - write/ fax/ e-mail the company. If acts of violence against women on television are passed off as entertainment, complain to the Broadcast Standards Council or the Canadian Radio and Telecommunications Commission (CRTC). Make your own woman-positive media.
8. Help girls protect themselves. Help the girls in your life develop confidence and strong self-esteem. Let them know they're important as individuals - in or out of a relationship. Talk frankly to them about sex and dating, stressing respect and their right to choose.
9. Encourage people who commit violence to get help. Don't judge. Let them know their behaviour is unacceptable and that there are counsellors and support groups to help them change.
10. No victim blaming. It’s amazing how often we hear about the amount of alcohol that might have been consumed by the victim, how well she knew her attacker, what she might have been wearing. The ONLY person that bears responsibility for a violent attack is the attacker. No-one else.  Ever. This can’t be said often enough. People focus on the victim – especially if the victim was physically attractive. We need to start focusing on the perpetrators of crimes, and condemning their despicable actions, in the strongest possible way.
11. Social media responsibility. Sites like Facebook, Twitter  should create awareness. We are a country that glorifies “freedom of speech”. Every single one of us has the power to make change happen by our actions, words.
12. Stop tolerating. Take action. By calling out unacceptable behaviour, be that a tasteless joke, or a sexist remark or misogynistic comment. Language is so powerful. It’s not acceptable. Abusive language about women in general, or talk that cruelly demeans a specific woman or women, often occurs in social situations or online. You can object to this behaviour in a non-confrontational way just by saying, or posting, "It's just wrong to talk about women that way. Stop it." Do the right thing. You may be surprised by how many of your friends agree with you and were just waiting for someone to speak up. If you see a woman being threatened or assaulted, you don't have to stand by and do nothing. Don’t be afraid to intervene and call the police.

Noting that psychological abuse can be extremely damaging, and can happen along with, or without physical violence. It erodes self-esteem and the scars, just because they’re internal, are no less deep. Be more alert, vigilant and aware of your friends and their situations. Violence against women doesn’t discriminate. It can happen to any of us, regardless of age, wealth, class, outlook.

The word “abused” is not to be taken lightly. It does not just mean getting yelled at, or a random slap every now and then. No. Such women and children experience daily domestic violence, rape, human trafficking, and sometimes it may lead to their death. These horrific events do not just occur in places of war, but also in places that one would never expect. To bring a change, be a change! Raise your voice today!! Ring a bell.
                                         (for Ring The Bell- IndiChange)

Sunday, 16 June 2013


Umwelt” is a German word for “living in an environment (welt)”. It is a jargon that relates an organism’s cognitive engagement with the world immediately surrounding itself. A professor at the University of Hamburg, Uexkull defines the ‘umwelt’ as the perceptual world in which an organism exists and acts as a subject. Even a small organism like amoeba or a jellyfish experiences the world by its sensory organs.

Well, talking of today, we have an electronic umwelt, where history is replaced with movies, education is replaced with entertainment and nature is replaced with technology. This peculiar wedding of low kitsch and high tech has generated a world quite difficult to fathom. Umwelt is usually translated as "self-centered world". Nowadays we are so busy with our ‘smart’phones that we hardly have time for the environment in which we live. How many people in a day give their opinions about God or factual issues like global warming, etc? How much do we think about animals who share same ecosystem as ours, what they feel, why they behave in the ways they do, how they understand their environment, how and what they communicate?

Similarly, the people we most heartily disagree with, the ones who seem stupid and almost perversely narrow, live in a different micro-reality. Their worlds, and ours, are limited by what we don’t know, not by facts we refuse to see, but by elements we are not able to see. Extending the idea of umwelt to different cognitive or social realities like: When I’m in the water, I perceive and sense quite a different set of impressions than does a fish. Every kind of ignorance in the world results from not realizing that our perceptions are gambles. We believe what we see and then we believe our interpretation of the human tendency to notice and assign significance to observations that confirm existing beliefs, while filtering out or rationalizing away observations that do not fit with prior beliefs and expectations it, we don't even know we are making an interpretation most of the time. We think this is reality. We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.

You can experience the world of a homeless person by being dropped off in another town with nothing but clothes, no wallet, no cell phone. You can even perceive the world of an off-the-grid villager by turning off the gas, electricity and water at your house for 24 hours. Each person’s brain perceives and analyses the world differently than others. I can look right at something, even study it, and still miss important details that others see on a casual glance, or vice versa.

When I think of our cognitive engagement with the world, two major incidences confuse me. The resilience and the indomitable spirit of the Mumbaikars after 26/11 and how they continued to work right from the day after to rebuild the restless city. We are all proud as Indians. But what right did I have to feel proud? Between the terrifying blasts, what had I done to contribute to the much acclaimed “Mumbai Spirit”? Is simply resuming our lives assuming as if nothing happened, a true measure of our “spirit”? How many of us have felt the same momentary angst and came up with nothing but helplessness after such incidences? Some people of your city have been killed because they were at the wrong place at the wrong time and you still get up early in the morning and behave as nothing has happened. Another example can be 26th July, 2005 when life in Mumbai came to a standstill because of heavy rains. But Mumbaikars helped each other out by distributing food and mineral water to passers-by at street junctions. Is this enough to demonstrate our concern for the wellbeing of our fellow citizens and the environment?

Which is the real Mumbai? Is it what we get to see everyday? With people who are too hard-pressed for time to help themselves let alone help others; or people who go out of the way to help even strangers when disaster strikes? They may seem to ignore you, but in a crisis, they invariably extend a helping hand. It is not that Mumbaikars are unconcerned but they have other equally important matters to attend to and when the situation demands their very human aspects come to the fore. Such hectic is the pace of the place I live in!

The reality of life today is that we are a busy society. We pack our schedules with long work hours, and then try to have a life somewhere in between! It can take a toll, especially when it comes to relationships. Being too busy for friends can mean you aren't getting the benefits and support that come with close relationships. It can also mean losing a few friends, if no efforts are taken. Amidst our fragmented and frenzied lives, do we have at least one moment to sit back and relax when we don’t have to do anything or be anywhere in particular, but mostly in that moment to realize what a gift your life is, not just to you but to everyone who knows you? The problem of our generation seems to be that the majority of us feel lost, confused and are without a sense of purpose and seem to be floating about aimlessly hoping that lady fortuna will send something good our way. This is the main reason of unhappiness and depression today. Going from relationship to relationship, job to job, day to day, seeking happiness and satisfaction in material possessions.

To find balance between family, friends and everything else in your life, take a mental step back and view your life as if you were a stranger. If there is one area that stands out from the rest as being "too full," you may need to adjust some of your attention.

P.S: This was my entry for 1 Hundred Works. (

Why Suicide :/

Nothing is worth ending your life for. Nothing can be so intolerable, so unforgettable that one has to commit suicide to forget it. And how can we be certain that death will end all pains?

Death only obliterates faintest glimmer of hope. What made Jiah Khan, a beautiful girl of 25, who made an acting debut with the Superstar Amitabh Bacchan end her life so ruthlessly? Fame is not easy to handle. So enjoy it while it lasts, because it wont last forever. Why did she not realise, that the pain was a temporary blip in her life. Something every individual undergoes? Life can get better, good keeps following bad and vice versa! Depression of any kind should not be a reason to end life which is God's gift. Suicide means you are kicking God's gift and proving yourself not worth it!

You are the product of whatever has been invested into you over the years. You cannot render the sum total of who you are and your achievements as worthless and exit the planet just because one in a billion cares less for you. It is highly selfish to enjoy whatever was invested into you all your life and then end the journey when the ride gets tough. 

We should let the moment pass, and not give up everything in a moment of despair. Suicide is seldom decided/ attempted in one moment, it is a culmination of several moments of despair. Its like a person's been bludgeoned back on the ground before it had had the chance to stand up completely on it's feet. After a few hits the person tries to search for help in whatsoever form it gets - some try god, some spirituality, some try making friends, some try dope, some smoke, some drink and some try love - hoping that this new support system that they have invented will help them get up. No one wants to die but when all these fail and the hammering continues, the person gets pushed to the edge. Suicide become imminent, when the person has lost connection to everything real like people and relationships. Dying no more feels like a crime. The person gets numb and finally gives up. but what is worth remembering is, everything will not always go your way. She should have distracted herself of the pain. Your death cannot be a revenge! It is you who suffers. Better is, get over your past demons. Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.

There are many people who are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, anger, disappointments. As and when their garbage piles up they need a place to dump it and sometimes they will dump it on you. Dont take it personally. Dont take their garbage and spread it to others. Life is not always easy. There is no greater cowardice than enjoying your spot in the sun and quitting the stage, the moment life gets a little rough. The pressure is immense, to constantly prove oneself. Remember "This too shall pass." When you stop chasing the wrong things, you give right things a chance to catch you. Fading lights do not mean an end to life. Life is bigger than everything! Make life matter. You matter. Get back on the merry-go-round. Feel empowered.

Wednesday, 5 June 2013

Being with YOU!!

Life can be hard...
but with YOU by my side,,,,Life is fun!!
To live can be tiring... 
but with YOU by my side,,,,life is an adventure!!
life often brings miseries...
but with YOU by my side,,,, each day is a new experience!!
life without YOU is to exist,,,, without living...
but live I must...
for my very life is YOU...
if I could wait for the day,,,, when I would be by your side,,,,
I would wait ; wait through every minute,hour,day and year...!
if I could wait for the moment,,,,
when I would become yours,,,,
I would wait till the end of my life...:) 

Its All About Being Positive, Learning From Your Past Mistakes And Moving On! :)

Living in the now is all that matters!! One should be at peace within! Life goes on. Come what may! even makes you adapt to total shit heals wounds..give the time, some time! 

Whats meant for me will come to me..No conspiracy can take it away. 

As long as we dont forgive people who have hurt us, they occupy a rentless space in our mind! So forgive and forget! 

You are only bothered by the words and actions of those you genuinely care can go to hell :P 

Sometimes we do suffer our choices! But every experience teaches something. 
It is good to remember everything,,but sometimes in life it is better to forget a few things,even GOOD things. 
Certainly, trusting people too soon is a vice. 
Agreed being egoistic is a sin,but self pride is a neccesity! 

They say "dont cry because its over but instead smile because it happened" 

Nothing lasts forever,,not even your everything else,, this too,, shall pass! 

Faced with what is right, to leave it undone shows a lack of courage..There is no harm in being the odd man out! There is no harm in standing alone, if you are right, its not your fault that the rest are wrong! 

Sometimes the best revenge is to smile, move on and do nothing! 

Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.. 
You can't please everyone. You are not even born to do that..what others think of you, is none of your business. 
"Do what is right, not what is easy" 
Dont allow who you are to get in the way of who people want you to be. 

Today is the tomorrow we were so concerned about yesterday! Who knows what tomorrow brings? Its all about enjoying the present. 

Sometimes we wish to know all the answers, but its alright not to know all the answers. 
There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.. No one is the reason of your happiness, except YOU yourself. 

Happiness comes to you when you least expect it..Thoda hai bass thode ki hi zarurat hai :) 

Smile- cause you dont own all the problems in life. 
Life is worth fighting for! Life is a do-it-yourself project.. YOU are your best healer.. :D

It's All About Keeping Your Head In Place And Being Good :)

We should remain calm even if others are getting angry and blaming us for it..

We should have confidence in ourselves when all men around us doubt us and at the same time take into consideration what they say about you.. 

We must be patient and not be tired of waiting.. 

People may spread false stories about us but we should never be affected by such lies.. If people hate us we should not let it arouse hatred in us.. At the same time,,we should not make a show of our goodness or knowledge.. 

Dishonest people may twist our words into false statements.. In such a situation,,we should tolerate what they say and not foolishly fall into the trap they have set for us.. 

There are many things in life for which we have worked very hard,,then one fine morning we discover that these things are destroyed.. We should then have the courage to see them destroyed and rebuild them with the little means that are left with us..

Life is like a mirror.. It reflects back what you do.. If you cry at it,, it will cry back at you.. If you smile at it,,it will smile back.. So ALWAYS smile.. 

Every thing has its beauty but not every one sees it...:)

Never be ashamed of who you are. You have to accept that not everyone is going to love you back, that's why it's most important to love yourself. It's not about being what everyone wants you to be, it's about being yourself and finding someone who truly loves you for what you are. 

The only thing that will make you happy is being happy with who you are, and not who people think you are. If you always accept and be comfortable for your flaws, no one can ever use them against you. So, don't change just to please someone. Just be simple, original and unique in your own way.

Treading Along..

I was treading my path unhindered,,,,
Unsuspecting where it may take me,,,,
Reaching out for some elusive dream...
And changing it each day... Alone i was,,,,
But unaware of loneliness and then YOU appeared along the way,,,,
Like some yet undreamt dream to overshadow all the rest....♥
From then all that mattered was us holding hands...
And treading the path together...
Dreaming new dream,,,
But unsuspecting where our path would lead..♥ ♥

What Guys Should Realize..

We love it when you are just the way you actually are! You don't have to change when you are with us...

When we tell you that "Oh you look smarter with that shirt on and that hairdo suits you!" It really means! (in a way you are expected to follow it) 

We don't like you praising other girls before us..its such a "turn off"...

We love it when you are worried for us and for that matter when you keep asking"  Hows' your mood now??" every now and then...(even though you actually don't have to do so!! :P)

When we dont like a PARTICULAR girl we prefer you too to not be too close with her..there's a deep sense of insecurity growing within us..(which you are unaware of...) 

When we dress up smartly, we do want you to praise us..(just like we do!!) 

Show us that we are the "only" female in your life (ofcourse after your mom and sister..!! :p) {after all a real man can love just a "single" woman in hundred ways...he doesn't require hundred women to shower his love on..}

We dont like u getting too close with our bestfriends either..:P We love it too when you introduce us to your friends as "your girl"!!

We love it wen you pause your video games or miss a cricket/football match(about which you are hellbent crazy!!) just to be wid us!! :) ;)

Take our advises in the silliest of that we know we are important for you..sometimes its all about EXPRESSING and SHOWING your love..!!

We feel just too great wen you accept "it's your mistake" and give up!!sometimes it's good to give up for your lady love!

It's lovely wen you wish us "good morning.." "good night".. feels your life begins and ends with us..!!

We love it wen you " pay" for us or spend on us.. <3

Keep your roving eye glued on JUST us.. when you are with us..We should'nt remind you to be faithful always..♥

Keep showering gifts and flowers not frequently, but occasionally..

Appreciate us over little things..they are " little" for you...not for us..:P your little token of praise can make our day!! :)

Go out of your way to help us,, de-stress us...

Give us warm hugs when we really need them..a" jadu ki jhappi" does wonders fr us...;) {even proved by a research now!!} 

We love resting on your shoulders! :D 

Take us for romantic walks and make us feel wanted and ultra special..:D pamper us!!

Once in a while get into a fight for us..make us feel we belong JUST to you..♥

Love and respect our family just the way you do to yours..!:)

Dont make fun of us..your humour can spoil things at times..:/

Respect us and whisper "I LOVE YOU" ...just when we dont expect it at all from you...:)

Make every moment" special..n cherishable"
So that we realise how it would be spending an "entire lifetime" with you...
finally,, life has to be lived in "moments"...:)
make us feel.."you are just MINE...!!" ♥ ♥

After all every girl deserves a guy who would love her beyond limits and stands by her no matter what..!! :)

Love me as I am!

I want to be loved...
To be protected...
I want someone to comfort me...
Ease my tension during the day...
Share my love in the night...someone to hold me tight... wipe my tears when I am crying...
Share my happiness when I am smiling...
Someone who will bring alive... 
The REAL in ME...
Make me forget my worries... help me recall happy memories...
Someone who will keep loving me...
As days pass by...
Love my wrinkles...
My grey hair...
As time passes by...
Not my face or my body...
But the pilgrim soul in me... love me as I am...
The REAL person in me...♥ ♥

Don't cry lil' girl...!

Don't cry lil' girl...!
I know that the tears that line your eyes are for a mother dying..
Dont cry lil' girl.. I have no magic solution.. no healing powers.. 
You looked at me and in your eyes I saw.. you ask for a helping hand..
To lift her up from bed and onto feet and onto a life of total health..
I have no such solution...
All I have dear girl..are words of love,,care and comfort.. 
She is going on a little ahead.. to fashion a home for you..
She is only going on as a mother find a new home for you..
She is only going on as others have who vanished from our sight..
Wipe those tears lil' girl..
She is only going there ahead..
And as she works over to that new place..
She will not take with her..
That pain.. that trauma..
Wipe those tears.. lil' girl.. :)

That someONE..

That someONE..

Someone whose just 'a mention' can get the loveliest smile and blush on your face!
Someone who would be so very easy to easy to talk caring..
Someone who would understand what's wrong even when things are untold..
Someone who would not be Jealous of your achievements..but would motivate and inspire to do still better..

Someone for whom you will be "just one of your kind"..
Someone who will be possesive enough but that would just signify deep love!!
Someone who would always keep you happy and with whom happiness will be worth sharing!!whose happiness will lie in your wellbeing..
Someone who knows that you care and would value it! :D
Someone with whom sharing little details of your day,,of your life would be important and fun!

Someone for whom you would enjoy doing things..its like "pamper and get pampered back!"
Someone for whom you are always a priority,,never an option!
Someone whose too loyal and protective..
Someone whose "main hoon na" would mean the world to you.. <3
Someone without whom you lose your significance altogether and feel hollow and incomplete!
Someone who would never leave your side,no matter what!and tell you "problems are not solved by running away,,but by facing them together.."
Someone whom you dont need to think twice before calling..

Someone with whom you enjoy little innocent moments even if you do nothing and still feel as if you had THE BEST time of your life!
Someone who can bear all your untimely mood swings and tantrums without objecting..
Someone with whom you wont FALL in love with,but fly in love!! <3 <3
Someone who would be insecure about you!

Someone wid whom you can share a special comfort zone,,a unique camaraderie..  :)
Someone with whom its worth celebrating your similarities and respecting the differences..
Someone Without whom all I am is just a black and white rainbow..
"I love you because you do to my life what i myself would have done had it been under my control.."

Someone whose SURNAME you would love to don with your name for the rest of your life! 
Someone to whom you can happily surrender yourself to..
Someone you can return to even after all fights and differences.. 
That someONE we all wait for  ... ;)

And for YOU it seems "the wait will be worth it!" "I want to show you off once I get you!! ;)  "
There is no doubt that somewhere in the deepest recesses of our hearts we are all looking for a person who will make us feel complete... To accompany us on this beautiful journey called LIFE.. :) :D

As they say "Though a man is physically stronger than a woman but throughout life he waits for that one woman in front of whom he willingly kneels down.."! :)

LIFE.. you squeeze me like a lemon!

Dear life, 

You promised me a lot. But what you have given me has surpassed all that you promised. I knew that both beauty and ugliness would come my way for nothing comes unalloyed in life. My life has encompassed both good and bad. When I look back and also regard the present, I realize that the richness of life is in bringing all these experiences together and weaving a beautiful tapestry of them. 

When I try to achieve my goals in haste, you slow me down. You teach me patience; the value of waiting for what is worthwhile. You teach me that life is ever-flowing; like the river that gets around so many bends and boulders, you also make me flow over and around obstacles and difficulties. 

You often squeeze me like a lemon and so stress, pain and defeat become part of my experiences. You make demands on me. I was made to take on responsibility, to care for others and to give something back to you. However, when the demands became excessive you have shown me that sometimes I have to be squeezed to give out my best. You have also given me the chance and opportunity to recover when the feeling of being squeezed of all energy threatens to take over. 

Looking back, I find that you have enriched me with a gamut of experiences. You've let me experience the fact that being tested does not mean one has to seek escape from you. When we say 'yes' to life, we are really saying 'yes' also to surprises, setbacks and personal tragedies, and not only to happy times. 

In the course of my life, so many things have happened, but not every happening was significant. I have now learned to skip and not mull over or get bogged down by happenings that could have been accidental, coincidental or negative, and therefore they do not say much to me anymore. Life, you are a twin sister of TIME. In learning to make the best use of time and putting our talents to best use in activities that are essentially time-bound, we are really living life to the full. 

Yet, I request you: please don't squeeze me like a lemon. I have learnt my lessons and the need to put up a good fight and keep the faith. I will celebrate you and not waste the opportunity.  

And when I whisper a prayer, I say, "