Tuesday, 3 December 2013

Quarter Life Crises, I Call It!

You're in your twenties when -
Elders treat you as unproven theorems. Teenagers feel that you are too old to have you in their group. On the other hand, you seem to enjoy both cartoon and news. You can no longer eat whatever you wish to, without putting on weight. You hate your big nose, chin, forehead wrinkles, etc, etc. In truth, you look as good as you're ever going to look, so embrace it.

You are not invited for weekend cricket/­ football matches. Every aunt you meet asks 'When are you getting married, beta?' While uncles asks 'What have you thought of your career?' When the reality is that you are just riding the wave and going with the flow.
You have all the confidence in the world but little achievements to show. You already have the first hand experience of the life. You realize that whatever you have been taught about the world in schools has been a sheer waste of time. Sad face.

You're overly obsessed with social media and your imaginary friends - Facebook, Twitter— these are the only links to your old life, your friends from high school or college. You hang on to this time period desperately, spending more time than you like to admit voyeuristically obsessing over everyone else's seemingly better, more interesting lives. But no one posts photos of their breakup or that time they got fired. Their lives suck as much as yours does! Besides, most of these people aren't even your real friends.

Being in your twenties is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then you get scared because you barely know where you are now!

You know now, love is not that blind and friendship has its terms and conditions. You know there is nothing for granted and free lunches are not free. You start realizing that people are selfish and maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, jerky, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you!

You can be denied a job even after passing the test and you could be given a job if you know someone placed high enough. Politics till now was a dirty word but now you feel it everywhere. You had thrust into a college at an age where you barely knew your interests, and ended up paying out to study something dumb, because it sounded cool and in fashion then! As a result, four years later: Congrats! You have a nice piece of paper, no professional skills.

You look at your job and maybe, the career you have chosen is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. One minute you are insecure and then the next, secure. Your overconfidence is now making way for a humble conscience. You realize you cannot take back your past mistakes and contemplate, ‘What was I thinking when I did that?!’

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone, scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there’s nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. 

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved so much could do such damage to you. You lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person.

You want to settle down for good because now all of a sudden that becomes the ‘top’ priority. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You begin to think a companion for life is better than a hundred in the shack and for once you would not mind standing tall for that special someone which otherwise you had never seriously thought of until now. 

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about study loans, car loans, home loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! 

No one is ever alone in this state of crippling confusion and constant flow of failed expectations; everyone relates to it or has surpassed this fear and this age of mixed emotions. It is like being in the best of times and even the worst of times, trying as hard as you can, to figure this whole thing out - quarter life crises, I call it! :P


  1. Yes Aayesha, you have drafted beautifully this "Quarter life Crisis", however I would call it is beautiful but hard transition of life, when we suddenly become elder, parants start calling us, " AB tum bade ho gaye ho" or " yeh kya baat hai beta, ab tum bache to nahi rahe", etc etc, this transition is second transition of our life ( First one is when we become teenager) and so the most delicate transition as the first one, because it will decide our next stages of life, where we want to see ourselves......

    1. well said Pritesh :)
      thank you for stopping by :D

  2. Beautifully written.... Can relate to it..


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