Saturday, 28 February 2015

Apno Ko Apne Dum Pe Jeena Sikhao!

Rape is a traumatic experience. It shatters you and breaks your confidence. I was no longer the old confident me. Emotionally and physically hurt, it was horrible for me to trust anyone. My family too was emotionally paralysed. They knew I needed love and support to become self-reliant again.

I was down with self blame. Why was I out so late that night? Had I been home, this would have never happened. And so on and so forth...

My mom has been my rock solid support system since then. She has stood by me in this tough time. Her unconditional love has helped me overcome my fears and recover.

She was the one who kept telling me that I wasn't responsible for what happened. It was a crime of violence by a sex starved man - a rapist. It is his crime for which he is behind bars today and moreover he will be punished by Him severely someday.

She heard when I needed someone to cry, she gave me honest answers for my doubts. Never once she avoided the topic, she was upfront about it, so that it finishes off in my mind once and for all!

Every time I decided to talk to her, it was beneficial. Every conversation with her helped me build myself again. She helped me come to terms with what happened. She never treated me harshly.

She said, 'Vaani, not even for a moment allow the thoughts of blame to cross your mind. Don't judge yourself, beta. Face things head on!' At the same time, she never tried to hound me with her possessiveness, she knew when she should leave me alone and when to be with me.

Without being over sensitive, she helped me to be strong and regain normalcy. She didn't isolate me from any of my friends, she helped me approach the police.

She told me, 'Vaani, you have two options - give up or fight it.' My mother has helped me take informed decisions by having one-to-one conversations with me.

With the trauma of rape, I was bewildered with frustration and guilt.

I liked isolation. Sunk in depression, I felt humiliated with angst in me. Hatred for that man.

My mother allowed me to rebuild my life at my own pace. She helped me rebuild emotions like safety, trust and self-worth.

One day I confided in her, 'I feel shameful and dirty, Ma.'

Depression can be disastrous. She said calmly, 'Rape is not about you. It is the power that man has misused. It has nothing to do with you staying out late, but the mindset of men. Babies get raped, elderly women too. They leave no one. So, Vaani, don't feel guilty. You love writing, don't you? I suggest you get back to it. Pray, my dear Vaani, it will help you connect to God. He will ease your stress and you will soon be my old chirpy Vaani. Don't punish yourself. Do good to yourself! Sar utha ke jiyo, beta!'

That's how she pushed me and encouraged me. Today is the launch of my first book. My emotional strength is here with me as I climb the dias. And I dedicate this book to Ma for being my strength and role model.

Thanks to Ma, I'm high on self esteem today. A better person than yesterday and yes, I'm self-reliant. Ma made me so. I feel empowered as I embark a brand new beginning of my life!

P.S: This fictional post is for Happy Hours powered by IndiBlogger.
{Write a blog post about how a family member has guided and encouraged you to grow into a better, more self-reliant person. }

See this highly emotional video : #MyFamilyMyPride ad film


  1. Loved it. You said everything so easily and directly. Your positive vibes are all over. Talking about rape or even acid attacks, it is the general mindset of our society that makes women feel vulnerable and lonely to the point where even the family starts disliking the person. But yes, like your character of mom, in real life there are people who support the victim. It is NEVER a matter of shame for the girl, it is a matter of shame for the nation that couldn't protect her. Keep writing. You're blessed :)

    1. Thank you, Dharan. I am so happy to have found a loyal reader in you. I am coming across all the forgotten posts of mine! :)

      It is never a matter of shame for the girl, TRUE THAT!

      Keep visiting! :)

  2. It is your humility that you consider me as a loyal reader. The fact is that I find your writing interesting and thoughtful. And as I have said you connect to the reader. Would like to connect to you socially as well :) Keep writing :) Love :)


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