Saturday, 18 June 2016

Love & Timing


“Timing is everything with relationships.” Rashida Jones

Timing. It is the timing, that often goes wrong.

Pyaar ka life mein, sahi time pe aana bahot important hai.

I totally believe in this. Because there are people who you fall for or who fall for you, but then all the love around us does not culminate into happy endings. Does it?

Many a times, they love you, but cannot commit; or even if they commit, they are other unresolved issues that surface.

Now, you might argue, that “If the love is true, it will battle all the issues and sail through to find a glorious path.”

But, no, this doesn't happen always, why? Because not all lovers have the strength to fight till the end. Many leave the fight and take an exit.

Finding true love is all about timing.

“It’s no good meeting the right person too soon or too late. If I’d lived in another time or place, my story might have had a very different ending.” Now, I could go on and give you the right-person-wrong-person-talk, but that’s all been said and done.

We all think of finding the right person, but we rarely really think about whether or not we’ve become the right person for someone else. This, therefore, becomes my basis for agreeing with the fact that Love is all a matter of timing.

Pure, honest love demands maturity– and maturity is an end result of time. That being said, you have to first become your “best you” for you to legitimately find the “right one”. Any other version of yourself will limit your capability of nourishing your relationship.

I mean: time and time again, we've all had to face that painful realization that if he or she really cared as much as we did, they would have moved hell and earth to make things happen. That is also the message of that whole market of books centered around "He's Just Not That Into You."

Timing can refer to what else is going on in your life, where you are emotionally, how mature you are to take the steps required in the nick of time, whether one of you is currently already in a relationship, effects of previous life choices that you can't get out of to focus on a relationship, and even whether you ever meet the person in the first place.

A lasting relationship is a concoction of romance, love and timing.

Ask me - Which case is worse: the wrong timing but right person, or the right timing but wrong person?

"I like you, but you caught me at a bad time."

The right person at the wrong time. Worst.

The right person at the wrong time can be devastating since you've found the right person, the one you really love and want, the best person for you, but the relationship can't or won't happen due to circumstances outside of your control at the time (such as logistics, your/their lack of maturity or ability to be in a relationship, the ability to recognize a good thing). 

Timing and love really do go hand in hand. Just think about it – how many times have you gone on dates and you really thought the chemistry was there, but then it doesn’t go anywhere because you learn that they (or you) are still healing from an ex, are in the midst of a crisis, or just aren’t ready to commit to one person? That gnawing thought in your head of “if only I’d met him or her a few months later” kicks in and can be incredibly annoying.

The truth is, however, that so many factors have to fall into place for a relationship to take off. No, life will never be perfect and there will never be that ideal time in which all aspects are meticulously aligned, but, more than anything, the most important factor is that you are at peace with yourself and where you are.

No one is perfect, nor can any of us ever expect to be, but it is learning to be at peace with the idea that what you bring to the table, messy flaws and all, will be enough for someone someday. It’s about trusting that you will be open enough to let someone in at the right time, and vice versa.

So yes, you could meet the perfect person, and if they’re going through a tough time, it might just not work out for that reason alone. Consider me schooled.

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